About Me:

• I am a Black Woman.

• My values are authenticity, compassion, order, productivity, and service.

• I understand the world through words.

• Meyers-Briggs: INFJ

• Zodiac:

  • Virgo (sun)

  • Cancer (moon)

  • Virgo (rising)

• I have excellent planning, organization, communication, writing, and time management skills.

• I have horrible spatial awareness and physical coordination skills.

• I enjoy music/concerts, reading, board games, puzzles, and hiking/walking.

• I love curating playlists. It combines my love of music and my love of lists.

• I have my bachelor’s degree in sociology and writing seminars.

• I am currently pursuing my master’s degree in public administration.

• I work for a national non-profit organization committed to educational equity.

  (Please note: the ideas expressed in this blog reflect only my personal perspective and not those of any organizations I am affiliated with.)

• I live in Baltimore and co-own a home with my husband. We also co-own a side business called Druid Delights.

• I have 4 wonderful niblings (#auntlife), a dog, and a cat.

• My life is certainly not perfect, but I am genuinely enjoying my life experience. For the most part.

My Story:

My thoughts are a blessing and a curse.

Rumination is the theme.

I have had depression

for as long as I can remember.

Throughout my childhood, teenage, and college years,

I often felt lonely, lost, disconnected, sad, and hopeless.

I had difficulty connecting with other people.

I cried most days,

multiple times a day.

I wrote a lot of depressing

songs and poetry.

And some days

I was unable to pull myself out of bed.

I felt overwhelmed and stuck.

One of the first times I remember

experiencing that paralyzing

feeling was when I missed

my grandma’s funeral.

In college, I would occasionally miss

classes and work. Instead,

I would spend hours crying

in bed and feeling bad

about myself.

I have had suicidal thoughts –

passive suicidal ideation,

where I didn’t actively plan to kill

myself, but where I felt

 I wouldn’t care if I died.

-----

I have had social anxiety

for as long as I can remember.

Mostly the ruminating type where I replay

conversations in my head, overthink,

and avoid casual social interactions.

Please note: I am not afraid of public

speaking, which I do a lot for work,

and I love a good meeting

with a detailed agenda.

---

During my senior year of college,

I had my first and only panic attack.

---

Then, in the Summer of 2019,

I had an epiphany.

I was happy.

I was content

with my life.

Why?

---

At the time of the epiphany,

I had been training for TFA.

Someone displayed

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

(which I had seen previously)

And I thought:

In terms of physiological & safety needs,

I have been pretty fortunate

my entire life. I have never

had to worry about food

or shelter.

However, I did recently start

taking anti-depressants

(which is one of the best decisions

I have ever made).

In terms of love & belonging,

well, there had been MAJOR improvement.

In April of 2019,

I got married

to the love

of my life.

I had met my husband 2 years prior

during my senior year of college.

We met on Tinder,

then in person at a bar.

He was my first and only boyfriend.

We are pretty much exact opposites.

But together we make one functional human being.

(our playlist: proof that opposites attract)

In addition to marrying my husband,

(my favorite person),

I also joined my husband’s nerdy friend group

and developed stronger relationships with my family

(including my in-laws).

My dog and cat also make me very happy.

I FINALLY have the authentic,

accepting, enjoyable relationships

that I had been seeking my entire life.

In terms of Esteem,

at the time of the epiphany,

I was on the brink

of starting a new career.

I was passionate

and had lots of ideas.

(It didn’t end up working out,

but that’s another story).

So, I thought:

I must be experiencing self-actualization.

And I thought:

Why did I have to wait

23 years to start

enjoying my life?

Was there anything I could have done

to improve my life sooner?

So, I started researching

self-actualization.

Which lead me to researching

self-transcendence.

Which lead me down a rabbit hole

of psychology and sociology,

self-help, self-improvement,

personal development,

professional development,

life and career coaching,

and lots of theories

about how to live a “good” life.

And that’s when I realized

what I want to do.

I want to organize

and synthesize

my understanding

of self-actualization

and self-transcendence

into a blog.

This blog.

A blog that includes:

• my curated playlists;

• theories to help you better understand and improve your life experience;

• helpful links and resources; and

• reflection questions.

I just want to help people feel better

about their life experience.

 So, I hope this helps

(if you need or want it).

And I hope you are happy.

If you’re not,

I recommend that you

start here.